What it takes to be a leader

Inspired by “Leaders Eat Last” (Simon Sinek, 2014)

How come that there are people at the top of companies who aren’t actual leaders? Sure, they have authority and we do as they say, but would we follow them if we didn’t have to? At the same time there are great leaders at the very bottom of organizations, people who have no degree or position to be telling others what to do, but still everyone around them would back them up. This brings up the question, what is a real leader?

According to Sinek the differentiation between average, good and great leaders is a minor thing. Either you are a leader, or you are not. I do very much emphasize with this idea and moreover I think that a leader cannot be evaluated by his technical skills or other job-related abilities. For me what counts is how a leader behaves when there is an unpleasant situation or even crisis. As long as things go well, everyone can place himself at the top of a group. To me it’s the difficult times that show whether a person is born to be a leader or not. I have met a couple of leaders already, some of them along my professional career, others in my hockey team and during my time in Military. The book “Leader Eat Last” helped me better understand my perception of leaders in the past, as well as in the present. Along this essay I will come up with personal examples of how I did experience leadership, connected to ideas and concepts that Simon Sinek, the author of “Leaders Eat Last” came up with in his book.

Inspiration — I’d do it for you, because you’d do it for me too
Serving in the military has thought me some things about leadership. Although very simple, and although just for training purposes, I feel they can make a difference. It was the idea of collectivism, that everyone cares for each other and that we are together in this as a family who helped us deal with the tougher days of our training. Knowing that if you give up, this would mean extra laps for all your colleagues helps you to push your limits. Helping out your colleagues whenever you can because you know one day you might be the one needing help. We were thought these things from 4:00a.m. to 12:00p.m. by all our superiors, but the one I remember is lieutenant Theiler. He was the one to go on by a good example, rather than shout at us. I mean, of course he shouted but that is part of the whole military thing, what I’m saying is that he knew when to shout and when to be silent. He was the one who did not only walk in front of our marching group, but also walked last, motivating the tired ones to move faster. He was the one wearing the cleanest shoes and performing the best, because he did the extra effort it took. What happened was that his group was the fastest, best, cleanest no matter if he was around or not. We followed his example and helped the weaker ones, motivated each other and performed at our best as a team. I can remember us getting up one hour earlier than the others just to get our gear cleaned and prepped, not because we were asked to, but because we wanted to be the fastest, best, cleanest to give back to our lieutenant. Not because we were order to, but because we were inspired.

The need for protection — Circle of Safety
While working for Simon International (*made up name) I have experienced lots of leaders too, but there are only few I will remember. One of them was Daniel. He was the boss of the marketing team I was about to join after my apprenticeship. I had several options at this time, but I chose marketing and not because I was just interested in it, I chose it because of the working environment. Unlike in other departments in the company, they were a real team and I had already become a part of during my six months training. Looking back, I understand why there was such a good team harmony in this department It was because of its leader. Daniel managed to create something Simon Sinek refers to as the circle of safety. His office was just by the big-room office we were working in and his door was never closed. All of us had their field of responsibility. Mine was Online Communications and even though I had only few experience, I was given my own projects from the very beginning. Also, I was given a mentor, an experienced co worker who’d show me the tricks. Every two weeks on Friday morning we would all have a team meeting together. It was more of a teambuilding activity lead by Daniel where each of us had to present the project we were currently working on and show the progress. Problems (also the bosses’ problems) were discussed and everyone had a chance to contribute his opinion. Daniel managed to create a feeling of safety and belonging within our group so that everyone would support each other, and creativity and innovation was pushed in a way I did not experience it again ever since. Daniel would have our back during board meeting, protect us from above defending our decisions and we would have his during everyday challenges. After he left, things changed and never became the same again under our new boss. Although all of us loved their job, half the team left the company. So, leadership is not only crucial for managing employees, it is also key for increased performance and employee retention.

“It is easy to know when we are in the Circle of Safety because we can feel it. We feel valued by our colleagues and we feel cared for by our superiors. We become absolutely confident that the leaders of the organization and all those with whom we work are there for us and will do what they can to help us succeed.” - S. Sinek

Responsibility means actually caring about people
I have been playing hockey for over 12 years now. Along my way from junior leagues up to the national league I have been part of different teams and have experienced different leaders. Two of which I’ll always remember. Fist one is my juniors league coach. We were all teenagers in the team, so not all easy to handle. So it came that one of my teammates had consumed alcohol right after a training, which was prohibited by our hockey club. When our coach found out about one week later, we had to get ready for our training session as usual. This means we put on all our protection gear as well as our skates. Our coach, Michael entered the locker room and told us that he wouldn’t care who was the one who drank the beer. He said that we all were part of the bigger picture and negative publicity would affect us all, no matter who misbehaved. I’m not saying he was not angry, of course he was, and we got to feel that. Instead of doing a normal training session, we had to take off our skates and put on our running shoes. We jogged, with our whole hockey gear on, to a nearby hill where we found ourselves in front of a stair with 1’109 steps (yes, 1’109 — we counted them). We had to walk up the stairs up and down three times which was more than just exhausting but no one complained, no one talked, and no one told the coach who was the teammate who had drunk the beer, although we all knew it. Instead we sang marching songs and took to punishment as a team. As mentioned before, I judge leaders by the way they behave during a crisis. This situation has impressed me because coach Michael managed to transform the bad energy into a lesson with a sustainable, positive outcome. No one ever drank alcohol again under coach Michael and we all were bond together as family.

Another story who burned into my mind happened just about a year ago. My current coach Stefan managed to bring our team at the very top of the swiss national league. During last year’s season we finished the regular season on the fourth place and thereby qualified ourselves for the playoffs. We reached the semifinals and were all very confident that we’d make it to the final for the first time in our club’s history. It turned out different. We lost the semifinal overt three games and the season was over. The reason were mostly individual mistakes and some bad luck. After the game we were all shocked about the sudden end of this season, we all were very disappointed and got prepared for the angry speech we were sure to hear from our coach (which we knew we deserved). It wasn’t the first time we all would be yelled at in a locker room. We were quite surprised as he entered the room and said in a very calm voice “I’m sorry guys. I’m sorry I did not prepare you good enough to win this. I’ll take it on me. I promise to do better next season.” He had tears in his eyes when he left the room and left us there. That’s when I realized that no matter how bad we wanted to succeed, he wanted it more. After all it was his dream and his vision we all were sharing in this team. Although we all knew it was our fault, he took it on himself. Not just in our locker room, but also during the interview he had to give after the game, he never lost a bad word about any of his players.

“Being a leader is like being a parent, and the company is like a new family to join. One that will care for us like we are their own . . . in sickness and in health. And if we are successful, our people will take on our company’s name as a sign of the family to which they are loyal.” - S. Sinek

Conclusion — What is a leader?
Putting the essentials of all those stories together we can point out three key features that, in my opinion, make a person a leader. To me a leader is someone who is able to inspire people with his vision. Speaking in the language of Sinek, someone who starts with the why, not the what or how. Furthermore, a leader provides a circle of safety to his followers, an area where they feel protected and valued. When people feel safe, they can perform other tasks free of worries and will therefore reach better results. A leader will not force someone to be better, but he will provide the environment for people to do so, for example protection from above. The third feature a leader needs to have is taking responsibility and actually caring about people. Only if you treat your followers as your family, in good and in bad times, they will treat you the same and stay loyal to you. If this means taking a bullet for your team, so it be. Leaders do these things for you, because they know you would do the same for them. Just as Simon Sinek says, there is no good or bad leaders, either you are one or you are not — and if you meet one, you’ll know it.

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